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SSRIs

by Ann Gray

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about

I wrote SSRI’s the week of my first high-school breakup, and with little editing after the fact, the piece remained incredibly raw and innocent. The story relates the relationship to the embarrassment of asking a cashier in public for an SSRI prescription, knowing you need them for your own validation and happiness and being so utterly ashamed of the fact. It also illustrates the feeling of purposely not sharing with your peers the awful things that a partner has done in fear of hearing their shock, knowing that even in spite of it you still wouldn’t have the strength to end the relationship, as you have grown to rely on this partner like a drug (or an SSRI).

lyrics

Loving you’s like the woman at the register
Reading my prescription aloud at the CVS
Feel the weight of her words and the brown paper bag
As I greet the sliding doors with indifference

Tell myself I’m fine, oh then why
Do I get scared she’ll call out my prescription
A little too loudly
So the person behind me might hear it
But I’m fine
Drown it out with water and a white lie
And if I told your friends what you did
I know they would be on my side
But I’d rather take your paper bag anonymously
And stick with the SSRIs

And I’m ashamed that I need these little capsules
Just to get me through the day
And I’m dependent on you
Like these chemicals wired into my brain

And I won’t tell my friends
Cause they’d tell me to leave you
But I’m too codependent
So I keep it all quiet
Throw out out the receipt
Cause I’m just too embarrassed
That I need him
That I’m addicted to his serotonin
So I don’t give them the chance to be worried
Cause I’m worried that their worries will be justified
So I’ll carry your burdens and strifes
And I’ll stick with the SSRIs

credits

released September 15, 2023
Vocals: Ann Gray
Guitar: Ann Gray, John Terrell
Keyboard: John Terrell

Recorded and mixed by John Terrell at Soul Haven Studios, Virginia Beach, Virginia.
Mastered by Izzy McPhee at Weird Jungle Studios

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Ann Gray Norfolk, Virginia

A captivating indie-pop artist weaving introspective tales with infectious melodies. Her evocative vocals and honest lyrics resonate deeply, capturing the essence of life's joys and struggles. Immerse yourself in her enchanting soundscapes that blend vulnerability and strength, inviting listeners on a journey of self-discovery. ... more

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