Sorry Excuse

from The Half Of It by Ann Gray

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about

I was initially inspired to write Sorry Excuse after reading Emily Brontë's novel, "Wuthering Heights," having become engrossed with the complicated, toxic relationship between the two main characters, Catherine and Heathcliff. I have a vivid memory of a class discussion on one of Catherine's monologues, in which she said something about how she loved Heathcliff so much that she saw him everywhere and in everything, even in things as small as individual blades of grass. I was so inspired by the writing in this chapter that I ended up putting and urban spin on this same "seeing him even in blades of grass" idea into a song. And so, I began writing.

I initially began with the first chorus, as that line "when things were going south then I drove up to the north" had been marinating in my mind ever since I had the song's idea. Another really important thing to me while writing the song was its imagery, and especially everyday imagery that everyone could relate to, such as the grocery lines, takeout menus, and traffic lights mentioned in the first verse. I also decided to add that same Wuthering Heights element of the narrator still loving the other character, despite how toxic and consuming the relationship had been when they were in it. Ultimately, I think my absolute favorite part of the song both lyrically and production wise is the bridge.

I knew immediately that I wanted to list a variety of everyday things that reminded the character of who they lost in order to emphasize exactly how hopelessly they still continued to see reminders of the past in every single part of their life. I ended up morphing the initial Wuthering Heights concept that the piece was based on, but the whole writing process as well as listening to the finished product were incredibly cathartic for me at the time, considering I related to this feeling all too well.

lyrics

In every single parking lot
I think I see the silhouette of you
In every grocery line I hear your
Pre-planned pick-up lines
And I see your face in takeout menus
I know I shouldn’t miss you
But I still see your smile in the traffic lights
And sometimes I get nervous that you’ll visit
And I won’t have the strength to leave you twice

Told you that I hated you while crying in the floor
When things were going south then I drove up to the north
Don’t hate me, I just had to go
But in every single advertisement I still see your face
Wanted to call you cause I wanted to say
I’m sorry but that’s a sorry excuse I know

Sometimes when I’m walking
In the city window shopping
I see the gleam of your eye in the showroom
I even started talking with other guys
But every single time I try
I find myself comparing them to you

Remember New Years Eve, the alcohol on your breath
Started yelling at me in front of all of my friends
Excuse you, I made excuses for you
Now that I’m in New York sometimes when it’s getting dark
I sit out in the cold and pretend I’m in your arms
Unfortunately, I love you I do

In every car I see, every plastic thank you bag
Every grocery store receipt, every song stuck in my head
It’s you, I see you
Every cloud that’s in the sky, every outfit that I choose
Every feeling in my stomach, every person in the room
How could I forget you when everything looks like you

Everything, everything, everything looks like you

credits

from The Half Of It, released January 27, 2023
Ann Gray -- guitar and vocals

Recorded and mixed by John Terrell at Soul Haven Studios in Virginia Beach.

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Ann Gray Norfolk, Virginia

A captivating indie-pop artist weaving introspective tales with infectious melodies. Her evocative vocals and honest lyrics resonate deeply, capturing the essence of life's joys and struggles. Immerse yourself in her enchanting soundscapes that blend vulnerability and strength, inviting listeners on a journey of self-discovery. ... more

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